Male feminist pigs?
By Khaled Diab
Some
regard possession of a vagina as crucial for membership in the feminist
movement. But can't a man be a feminist too?
May 2008
‘Woman’ or ‘female’ are biological
distinctions. ‘Femininity’ is that group of personality traits women are
traditionally expected to exhibit. ‘Feminism’ is a movement which challenges
these gender stereotypes and combats discrimination against women.
If you’re a man, obviously you
cannot be a woman – at least not without major, and quite painful, surgical
intervention. As a man, you can be feminine, or, like most people, exhibit a
mix of feminine and masculine characteristics. Likewise, progressive men should
be allowed to regard themselves as feminists. Despite my aversion to the
limiting effects of labels, I would certainly define my views on gender issues
as being ‘feminist’.
Cath Elliott’s article
last week highlighted the controversy within gender relations circles about
whether men can be classed as feminists. Although she expressed her personal
indifference to labels, some activists – both women and men – are not so
accommodating. In fact, some claim that men cannot be regarded as feminists which seems paradoxical to me, since feminism
strives to end sexism, yet this exclusion strikes me as sexist.
The main rationale for this view
seems to revolve around the notion that only women can truly understand the
female plight and truly know what it is like to face gender discrimination. But
humans are equipped with a remarkable imagination and sense of empathy, if they
choose to exercise it. History is replete with examples of ‘outsiders’ who become
the iconic embodiment of certain struggles, such as the privileged young doctor
turned poor man’s revolutionary.
After all, you don’t need to be
working class to be a socialist, nor a member of a minority to appreciate the
suffering caused by racism. People didn’t need to be black to struggle against
Apartheid nor Spanish to fight Franco’s totalitarianism.
Besides, if the lack of direct
experience disqualifies one from being a full member of the cause, should we
bar western feminists from showing solidarity with their ‘sisters’ in less
enlightened societies because they have not experienced the same magnitude of
discrimination in their relatively egalitarian corner of the world?
Moreover, men do have direct
experience of sexism and a major stake in combating it. First of all, there are
the women in their lives. If your wife, girlfriend, mother or sister experience
gender discrimination, it also has an impact on you, because it makes you angry
and frustrated on their behalf. Moreover, men who discriminate against women
are not acting in the name of the rest of their gender and the best way to
express that would be to describe ourselves as ‘feminists’.
In addition, the macho culture which
sidelines women can also belittle and ridicule the men who fight it – and so
fighting shoulder to shoulder for the cause of gender equality is as much a
progressive man’s prerogative as it is a woman’s under the banner of
‘feminism’. As Elliott rightly points out: “Centuries of
patriarchal hegemony has harmed men too.”
Amusingly, one post in the debate
under the article asked, if men can be feminists, “can women be male
chauvinists?” I believe they most certainly can. Some of the loudest advocates
of the patriarchal order, both in the past and today, have been women. And this
highlights perfectly the fact that just because you have a vagina does not
automatically make you more sympathetic to the cause.
There seems to be a fear that men
would try to dominate the movement. Cath Elliott says
that: “I really don’t need men telling me how to be a better feminist, or that
my kind of feminism is wrong.” I find such a description of, let’s call it,
‘male, feminist pigs’ rather unflattering. Relating obnoxiousness and bossiness
to gender in this way is quite frankly rather sexist. After all, men do not
have a monopoly on being domineering, or is Elliott
suggesting she’s never come across obnoxious female feminists? Would Elliott
appreciate a woman feminist lecturing her on how to become a better feminist or
trying to dictate to her the terms on which she should act as a feminist?
Elliott stresses that: “You can’t
call yourself a feminist and then go home and beat your partner… and in the
next breath beat your daughter.” I agree. In fact, that is precisely where I
would regard myself as a fully fledged feminist. I don’t go to rallies, nor
shout slogans from the rooftops, but I strive to apply the principles of
equality in everything I do.
This column appeared
in The Guardian Unlimited’s
Comment is Free section on
29 April 2008. Read the related
discussion.
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of Khaled Diab.